One time, AKA today, my son and I were watching the newest Seth Rogen episode of SNL and Zooey D. came on and my son said “She looks like you” and I died and then came alive and gave him all the privileges that were within my right to give, including immortality and alcohol and new Old Navy khakis for school. Everyone won that day, AKA today.
This map shows (roughly) how large the Lone Star State is. Points in the map’s red section are closer to somewhere in Texas than the opposite sides of Texas are to each other.
That’s right: You can be in Fargo, or Atlanta, or San Diego … and be closer to Texas than Texas is to itself.
That’s what the map above says. Texas is big.
When I was in high school I rented Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland musicals for fun, because that makes sense if you know me at all. Unfortunately, Babes on Broadway culminated in a blackface minstrel scene, a fact I should have remembered right before my one black friend/future prom date came to pick me up from my house that one time. “Ummm” he said, before he should have never talked to me again but totally did.